Chuck Norris Facts

Humor Webstraat

Chuck the almightyOp het internet gaat dezer dagen een lijstje rond met feiten over Chuck Norris.

Als je Chuck Norris niet kent: Chuck is de superheld uit een hele reeks films, en uit de televisieserie Walker, Texas Ranger. Chuck speelt altijd een geweldige beer, die onversaagd levens redt en aan de lopende band slechteriken het leven zeer zuur maakt. Meestal speelt hij zelfs gewoon “zichzelf” ๐Ÿ™‚

In ieder geval… het lijstje met feiten over Chuck Norris is indrukwekkend. Je vindt een vrij exhaustieve verzameling op www.chucknorrisfacts.com.

Een kleine bloemlezing…

  • Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits.
  • Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice.
  • Chuck Norris is 1/8th Cherokee. This has nothing to do with ancestry, the man ate a fucking Indian.
  • Crop circles are Chuck Norris’ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.
  • The Great Wall of China was originally created to keep Chuck Norris out. It failed miserably.
  • When Chuck Norris sends in his taxes, he sends blank forms and includes only a picture of himself, crouched and ready to attack. Chuck Norris has not had to pay taxes, ever.
  • If you spell Chuck Norris in Scrabble, you win. Forever.
  • Chuck Norris once shot down a German fighter plane with his finger, by yelling, “Bang!”
  • Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris.
  • Time waits for no man. Unless that man is Chuck Norris.
  • Chuck Norris once ate an entire bottle of sleeping pills. They made him blink.
  • Chuck Norris can touch MC Hammer.
  • When Chuck Norris does division, there are no remainders.
  • When Chuck Norris works out on the Total Gym, the Total Gym feels like it’s been raped.
  • The easiest way to determine Chuck Norris’ age is to cut him in half and count the rings.
  • The Bible was originally titled “Chuck Norris and Friends”
  • Chuck Norris invented the internetโ€ฆ just so he had a place to store his porn.
  • Chuck Norris does not own a house. He walks into random houses and people move.
  • When God said, “let there be light”, Chuck Norris said, “say ‘please’.”
  • Chuck Norris doesn’t read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.
  • Chuck Norris uses a night light. Not because Chuck Norris is afraid of the dark, but the dark is afraid of Chuck Norris.

Subliem ๐Ÿ˜†

4 thoughts on “Chuck Norris Facts

  1. hahaha xD hij is ook zo snel dat alstie een rondje om de aarede rent dat hij dan zig ijgen een kopstoot kan geven ๐Ÿ˜›

  2. omfomfomfg ge hebter echt wel de beste uitgehaald ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€ ๐Ÿ˜€
    strijkgaan, maar:
    “Chuck Norris’ tears cure cancer, too bad he never cries!”
    eentje vergete :p

  3. en deze
    Crop circles are Chuck Norrisโ€™ way of telling the world that sometimes corn needs to lie the fuck down.

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